“Forgive, Rediscover, and Reconstruct.”

A Hasidic Rabbi once told me optimism wasn’t a gift a few lucky people were born with. He insisted all of us can have it, “Optimism must be developed. Similar to the muscles in your body, you need to exercise and work at strengthening a positive attitude.” When we apply this frame of mind to our current shelter-in-place situation it can be seen as an opportunity. Certainly with all the alone time, it’s a monumental moment to get fascinated with one’s self. I mean it in a good way and not in a narcissistic, self-indulgent Trumpian fashion.

No one said staying at home was going to be easy. The anxiety is fierce for many. Aloneness demands we confront ourselves and make tough assessments about ourselves. To forgive oneself, to rediscover oneself, and then to reconstruct oneself is part of a wholesome quest to find one’s authenticity. It is paramount to be ruthlessly honest concerning your likes and dislikes, and then strive to dig deeper. Some folks might find it difficult to self-reflect when self-deception is easier for them to pull off.

An optimist can see the present circumstance is ripe for a new, personal paradigm. A reconstruction motivated from within should not influenced by current fads and fancies. We are all unique. I know this for a fact. As a tarot reader for more than 35 years, I’ve never met a dull person. What drives people to have their cards read is when they’re energetically blocked from their gifts and talents, or they might lack the self-discipline to hone their skills, and make excuses that prevents them from achieving their goals.

Forgiving oneself is an opportunity to correct past wrongs. In Kabbalistic terms it is called, Tikkun Ha-Nefesh or healing of the soul. These last few weeks have brought many memories of mistakes and foolish things I’ve done. These painful arisings are the dross of our existence. In order to move forward and lovingly exonerate myself, it is necessary to shake-up old stuff, and slough-off negative habits. This act of self-love repairs my soul. It heals me from siding with my overly mean, internal prosecutor who condemned me to years filled with guilt and self-loathing. Now is the moment to liberate myself.

By the way, “Forgive, rediscover, and reconstruct” was adapted from a line in a film noir movie, which stuck in my head. Over the years, I’ve watched hundreds and can’t remember what picture it’s from. If you know, let me know.

Street Tarot

"Let There Be Light"

I don’t have time to be nice. It will have to wait for later, when I can give comfort to the elders as they tell me stories of past deeds and wise ways. Right now, I have to slay a dragon.

I am home alone.

There is plenty to be concerned about over the coronavirus pandemic and the lack of presidential leadership to galvanize a nation and orchestrate a cohesive response. For many in this time of stress and uncertainty, aloneness can be a place where demonic forces consume them through fear, doubt, and worry. It’s when evil dragons are sent to appear in people's nightmares. Emitting flames of fire, they devour the dreamer’s psyche and defeat their will to be hopeful. In the morning the sleeper rises and acts for thyself alone. This selfishness derives from an imagined need for revenge and a lust for power.

An ancient Kabbalistic text, The Zohar, associates Evil with the Other Side. (Sitra Achra) where demons reside in abodes that are the opposite of holiness. These houses are shells with no doors or windows, similar to the husk of an ear of corn. It’s dark in there. The evil ones seep out through cracks in the floorboards and venture forth to wreck havoc upon the world.

I am home alone.

To a reggae beat, Bob Marley tells me, “Don’t give up the fight”. Destroy the demons. Slay the dragons and thrive. Let there be light in the darkness, the inner light of consciousness, goodness, and self-awareness.

Street Tarot

Empathy, Loneliness, and the Coronavirus.

Sporting events canceled, people told to work from home, gatherings of large groups banned, schools closed, Broadway goes dark and because of insufficient leadership and testing many in the US are undergoing self-quarantine. This is our new normal, for now anyway. Former Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy notes the disturbance to our social interactions can lead to depression and an increased sense of loneliness from the isolation.

His comments got me thinking about the relationship between loneliness and empathy. While researching the correlation, I came across a 2018 survey done by the BBC that found those individuals who are most empathic can also be the loneliest, “In the survey two kinds of empathy were measured. One was empathy for people’s physical pain – how sorry you feel for someone who has accidentally slammed their hand in a door, picked up a scalding frying pan or been stung by a wasp. The other was how much empathy you have for other people’s social pain – for someone who’s been bullied at school, not invited to a party or dumped by their partner. There was no difference in empathy for physical pain between the people who felt more or less lonely. But the people who said they often or very often felt lonely scored higher on average for empathy for social pain. Maybe because they have experienced for themselves what it feels like to be left out, they empathise more with other people who find themselves in the same situation.”

In my memoir, My Random Death, I’m open about experiencing stretches of depression and bouts of loneliness. Back then, the fatal flaw in my thinking was the depression will last forever and envisioned myself in a room with no doors or windows. No way out. Speaking with friends and family but not wanting to lean on them too much, I worked with therapists and came to understand those thoughts of mine about depression lasting into perpetuity was harmful thinking. Don’t do it. Lesson learned.

Seemingly counterintuitive, depression can be rewarding. It can give us an opportunity to get grounded, be close to our soul and listen to our authentic voice. So while we are in the Time of Coronavirus and isolated seek out family members to talk with on the phone, engage in ‘chat groups', use the time to listen to podcasts, text your friends, and come up with original ways to stay connected. One fun example is from Italy. Although a street appeared empty of folks walking or milling about, it was filled with song. People quarantined in the buildings lining the lane leaned out of their windows and sang to each other or in unison.

My previous blog addressed the trying times for empaths while Trump occupies the Oval Office. Compounded by his regime’s botched response to the coronavirus, his incompetence now affects all Americans. Although the World Health Organization declared the pathogen a pandemic, Trump mainly viewed the global epidemic as a threat to his financial and political future. His myopic, self-serving lens failed to protect people’s health and our general welfare. We’ve witnessed a lack of leadership back in November 2019, when he failed to send a team of scientists and epidemiologists to Wuhan in the wake of the highly contagious infection. Instead of taking a sample of the virus’ genome when it was offered by China, Trump said no thank you. A recent NPR article claimed testing was suppressed because Trump fears the number of cases would be too high and might effect his re-election chances. To fill the vacuum Individuals and communities respond to a failure of leadership by taking charge, being responsible and in some instance irresponsible. We all learned or re-learned how to wash our hands properly. It’s something I remember being taught by my parents and in my pre-kindergartner classes.

Due to the stress of these time, some folks have reverted to fear by hoarding mountains of toilet paper. A fist-fights between women went viral when one grabbed the last roll. Perhaps for some adults a short period of isolation will help them self-reflect and gain empathy for others. As Rodney King famously stated during the Los Angeles Riots, “Can’t we all just get along”.

Street Tarot