Signs of the Divine?

You might not believe me. On this particular matter, I don’t really care. My mystical and spiritual experiences are personal and always transformative. No one can deny me that. However, I do need to share this particular story. A few days before Easter, friends were visiting and I recounted the time when Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the telling, I had tremendous compassion for him. He knew he would suffer the horrible form of capital punishment through crucifixion and, as usual, I cried. That Sunday, I felt compelled to attend the Calvary Chapel’s open air Easter service held at the Santa Barbara Courthouse’s Sunken Gardens. It’s a gorgeous landscaped setting of exotic flowers, redwoods, palm tress, and a huge grass lawn nestled against the Spanish-Colonial style architecture of the three-storied, 97-year old courthouse.

“He is Risen” was written on the banner stretched across the church's makeshift dais. For some reason, those words struck me. The phraseology inferred Jesus’ resurrection is a constant event. “Can anyone believe that” I thought. Studies from my undergraduate degree in anthropology surfaced to remind me of a number of cultures that believed their chief or king would resurrect upon death, such as, the ancient Cannanite religion of Baal, the Greek’s Osiris and the Jewish Messianic Age when all will be reborn to live anew. So, who am I to doubt this reoccurring resurrection of Jesus. In fact, after being attacked and left for dead, I was reborn and wrote about it in my award-winning memoir, My Random Death.  

The morning after Easter, I woke up in a state of shock. I tend to sleep on my side, with one hand under my ear. When it moved over my forehead, I felt big ridges across it. This scared me. Was it a disease? I jumped out of bed to look in the mirror and saw long red gashes. I checked under my fingernails for blood, and then the bed sheets and pillowcases. Nothing. My persuasion for the rational spurred me to continue my investigate of logical sources; the rims of my straw hats, my headbands, and steel comb. Again nothing. A famous quote from one of my heroes, Sherlock Holmes, came to mind. “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”. From Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes story The Sign of the Four, it describes a logical method of deduction where invaliding all impossible scenarios leaves only the correct solution, regardless of how unlikely it may seem. “It’s stigmata”, I said to myself. An odd but most likely answer considering the circumstances.

Tears then welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheek. Unlike Trump, I do not equate myself with Jesus or a doctor. I am not in competition with the Pope, nor do I present myself as a savior or saint, although I do help the poor. I was an appointed federal criminal appeals attorney on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeal’s indigent panel for over 12-years handling complex and extended cases. I regularly make donations, help out people when I can, and never walk around town without handing a homeless person some cash. As a Jewish woman, I recognize Jesus as a great prophet who taught in the temples. Torah and bible studies still call to me and have done so since a little girl in Hebrew school. I am a seeker of more faith, of more answers, and to feel fully accepted into God’s kingdom here on Earth. Unlike Mr. Trump, I am not interested in kicking Jesus out and taking over in his place, as if he is a squatter to be usurped.

My stigmata did not immediately disappear but lingered, ever so faintly, for over 30-days, even though lots of moisturizer and balm of Giliad was applied to the area. My stigmata is symbolic of my own journey into faith. Another sign I am welcomed by God, and not feel like an outsider. If you have a humble nature, this acceptance may be hard to own. I’ve had other signs and wrote about them in my memoir. Jesus has previously appeared in my dreams and meditations, but when I feel blue, devolve into my usual self criticisms and rejection, I forget about all those wonders in my life. Now, this new one may help to reinforce my spiritual strength. And then to fully own it. My woes and worries come into balance. No big deal, comparatively speaking. My stigmata puts me right-side up. And it is a proclamation of and a deepening of my faith in the divine.

I am reminded of the tarot card, The Hanged Man. He is usually depicted dressed in the finery of a prince and not a pauper. Hung upside down, he is tied to a tree by a rope coiled around one foot, the other is crossed over it to form the shape of the numeral 4, which is also upside down. This number is a symbol for the rational, logical mind and being upside means the opposite; delusional, and irrational. However, even with his head pointed towards the earth the man appears cheerful and oblivious to his position. That is the key. This card is about a certain kind of spiritual and world view. It addresses one's awareness of false gods and their self-serving teachings. It is okay to be suspicious of one’s faith. We must ask questions and be situationally aware. Do not remain oblivious. The truth is you might be duped and fooling yourself if you’re involved in cults lead by conmen. Ask yourself, if you’re accepted into the group will it be hard to get out without being vilified? Can you get straight answers about your dear leader, and ask were the money you’re donating is actually going. Is there proof to backup dear leader’s say so?

This situation is no more apparent than with Trump, his MAGA movement, and his claim to be Jesus, the healer and their savior. Social media and news outlets widely published the AI image of him as Christ. It was purely a propaganda campaign to deceive voters and to con them out of their money. Recently, he was at it again with his verbal attacks against the Pope, and challenging the pontiff’s understanding of the Bible. The Hanged Man specifically addresses one’s personal cosmology and beliefs. The primary teaching of this tarot card is to recognize when you are looking at things upside down, and wrong. How will you know this? Wisdom is the opposite of self-deception. Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror. You must. Evaluate your spiritual principles and everyday priorities. Examine what your inner dialogue and thoughts are filled with, and how you occupy your mind. Become ruthlessly honest with yourself about these matters, as I did and continue to do. Don’t go back into old, worn out life patterns, which is easy to do, as I well know.

The Hanged Man is the 12th card in the tarot's higher arcana or suit of Trumps. They are numbered from 0-21, however, I prefer the cards' association with the Hebrew alphabet which goes from 1-22. The 13th Hebrew Letter is Mem or water, which is symbolic for wisdom that rises from our collective unconscious, and the depths of ourselves. What water also implies is our connectedness, and hence the requirement of compassion towards others. “Love thy neighbor as thy self.” (Matthew 22:39). Realize the self does not stop at the skin.

In a recent speech, Melania Trump praised her husband for his compassionate nature and the audience broke out in laughter at the untruthful statement. A wise person does not need public relations tricks. Trump never exhibits a sense of shame coming from a now wiser, more compassionate and upright man. Do not mirror him. He is a hard-core criminal and the upside down, Hanged Man. Ever the swindler, it appears his foot is tied to a fantastically fruited branch. Even though his soul is poor, money seems to grow on trees for him. Don't remain delusional. Right yourself, and stop giving Trump your money.